I know you don’t like her, and that’s okay; I don’t really like her either. You could call her a bitch, and no one would argue against that. You could call her vain, and I’d wholeheartedly agree. But I’ve gotta resist you calling her stupid.

She wasn’t always pretty. She’s had to grow into herself, I think; grow into her long legs, her big ears, the volume of that brilliant blonde hair that makes her and her sister the envy of all women on this side of the Rhine. She told me that the first time she saw herself in the mirror and felt proud of what she saw, she cried. With her looks came more friends, and that’s how she got her job at that brewery. No, no boyfriends (although she could have gotten a boy if she wanted to)–friends. And then one of her friends got her some powder and a little rouge for her birthday, and her tips began to increase, and I think that’s how she began to get obsessed with her looks.

I mean, who knows, maybe it came from her home. When her father died, her mother really began to flounder. Oh, you didn’t know? Yeah, they were living hand to mouth for a while, two little girls and only one unwed woman to feed them. Anyway, lucky woman, her mother caught the eye of Cinderella’s father and that was that. That’s how she, her sister, and her mother came to live in luxury. Her aunt, a sweet girl but very plain, was widowed young as well but couldn’t remarry, and last I heard she and her sons were living in a church-provided house.

Or maybe her vanity came from having Cinderella to boss around, a silent servant to plait her hair and lace her dresses and polish her jewelry. I did say she was a bitch.

Anyway, all I’m trying to say is that I don’t think she was stupid, listening to her mother’s suggestion the way she did. She would have gotten away with it, if Cinderella’s weird psychic birds hadn’t done the whole “coo coo, there’s blood in the shoe” thing. And can you imagine what it would have been like, if she’d been queen? She could have saved her aunt and cousins, made sure her mother never had to depend financially on a man again, decked her sister in gold and sent her to travel the world! She could have forged peace for us all or condemned the kingdom to war, could have twisted the laws to her heart’s desire. Oh, I think she would have done a terrible job, but who doesn’t want that power?

No, you fool, I’m not trying to imply she did it for herself. Of course she didn’t slice off her own heel for herself. All I’m trying to say is that her mom was right–she wouldn’t have needed to walk as queen. She wouldn’t have needed to do anything she didn’t want to as queen. So can you really call her stupid for making the shoe fit?

Shoshana Groom

Biography: Shoshana Groom is a fourth-year sociology major. She’s a current First Reader for Strange Horizons and a volunteer for PRISM, and has previously served as the Deputy Fiction Editor for The Quarryman at University College Cork, the Head Fiction Editor for Tales of Revelry, and a volunteer for Crosscurrents at University of Puget Sound. Her work has previously appeared in Apricity Magazine, Corvid Queen, Tall Tales TV, Gone Lawn and Crosscurrents. She loves ballroom dancing, Country Western dancing, embroidery, and fiction writing. Her heart belongs to her incredibly cute and even more destructive rat, Princess Buttercup.

Artist Statement: I embroider to make beauty, I crochet because I’m cold, I write because I like attention <3 Folklore, feminism, and my uncharacteristic love for humanity inform many of my creations. These pieces could never have been published without the support of those around me. To everyone who helped me edit these pieces, and especially Jeremy, Jessica, and Farren Groom, Dante Kunc, and Chase Schurr, you have my sincerest thanks.

Social Media: @lilyofthewillamettevalley on Instagram and Threads

Published in Volume 144, Storyteller!