My Body’s Last Hope

Amalie Landry

Today I taped spoons to my body

a last hope and last effort

to save my broken body.

I wasn’t meant for life

or at least the flesh I call my home wasn’t

as if I am an alien trapped inside a host of another being.

The tape had jagged edges

the spoons cold

their metal accustomed to a different environment than my skin

the adhesive held on for dear life.

I thought that if they were attached to me they would work

spoons of energy.

It had always been a metaphor, but I wanted it to work

needed it to work.

Fetal position

on the floor

rocking back and forth

I was my own rocking chair, ocean waves

but not beautiful.

my skin in shreds

my tissue bruised

I bled out of every orifice

my bones became jelly

tears poured uncontrollably out of my eyes,

leaving red spotty hives.

The metal was heavy

it tugged on the tape which pulled at my skin

but it never left my body

it was like it wanted to stay,

needed to stay.

Sometimes I like the quiet

it allows me to remember that I am in pain

that I’m not making it all up

that it isn’t just in my head.

I’ve been taught to ignore it

spent years mastering my own deception

learned to ignore my body’s dying pleas.

it doesn’t let me forget though

it sends me small reminders that it is broken

and my days are limited.

That is what I hoped the spoons would fix

I hoped they could give my body what it needed to fix itself.

The utensil shaped silver metal and overly adhesive tape didn’t work though.

It left me with angry spots and wrinkled skin,

not a new body,

or a cure for the one I live in.

Jennifer Oakes

Biography: Jennifer Oakes is a PNW based artist. Working in painting, printmaking, ceramics, sculpture, and welding. Attending her fourth year at Oregon State University studying for a Bachelor of Fine Arts.

Amalie Landry

Biography: Amalie Landry grew up immersed in the art world and had made her first paintings before she could walk. With both of her parents having attended art school and instilling in her a spirit of curiosity and creativity, art has always been a calling for her. She grew up in the forested and beautiful areas of the Pacific Northwest, which inspires much of her work, as well as her life experiences with chronic illness, love for the sciences, and genuine fascination with her surroundings. Over the years, she has tried many different art forms and currently practices watercolor, writing poetry, and embroidery the most often. She is presently studying Biochemistry at Oregon State University with the hope of working in the medical field in the future.

Artist Statement: In the poem My Body’s Last Hope, a raw, physical exploration of chronic illness and the effort to maintain a functional life unfolds. It literalizes the “spoon theory,” transforming a metaphor for limited energy into a tangible act: taping metal spoons to a failing body. The imagery highlights the isolating nature of pain, the search for validation, and the deep longing for a cure. It examines the painful disconnect between the self and the “broken” flesh, illustrating the burden of a body that constantly sends “dying pleas.”